Continuing to know that God is good

Jim's condition continues to worsen. He's on an antibiotic for an infection and received morphine on Thursday night for the first time. From what I understand, that was the first pain medication Jim has taken so far. He's never been one to take medication voluntarily, so he asked to be taken off the morphine on Friday.

His kidneys are starting to shut down as well, and he has refused dialysis. He sleeps more and more. From all accounts the doctors basically are just doing what they can to keep him comfortable. Many people from the congregation are taking turns sitting at his bedside. Jim is respected and loved by so many people here, and as Stefanie said yesterday, Jim's a "spiritual father-figure" for a number of them.

I think there are several blessings in this situation. First, we know Jim will not have to suffer for long before going home to God. Second, because we know what is coming, we all are able to begin the grieving process before actually having to deal with Jim's death.

There are so many emotions people are trying to sort through right now, not least among them being shock that all of this is even happening. I guess cancer is always a surprise, but the magnitude and speed of Jim's case has caught everyone off guard. Four weeks ago today, we had the block party. Jim helped set up the tents and spent the afternoon and evening chatting with the neighbors. The next day he preached his last sermon and still seemed like nothing was wrong. A month later he is in the hospital with stage 4 colon cancer and is experiencing liver and kidney failure.

The third blessing is one we actually have all the time but often don't notice: God's faithfulness. God is, always has been, and continues to be a good and gracious God. As Joshua took over leadership of the Israelites after the death of Moses, God told him in Joshua 1:5, "I will never leave you nor forsake you," and that promise holds true for us as well.

God most certainly has not left Jim, whose faith has always been strong but is now all the more determined as Jim looks toward -- in his own words -- "seeing God's glory in the next few days."